Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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