I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize