In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
