Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
