so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
