he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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