I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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