After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
