This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
