And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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