I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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