On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
