NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
