As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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