And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
