so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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