somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
