Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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