C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
