I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
