Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
