I want to have your abortion
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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