I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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