i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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