I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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