whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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