Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
