Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
