Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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