laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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