Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
