Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
