You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
