By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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