These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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