I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
