I skipped work to stalk him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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