Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
