She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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