I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
