He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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