Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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