There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
