Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
