I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
