New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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