I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
