We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
