just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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