there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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