I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
