Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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