Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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